Don't Leave Me
by harrypotterlove16
Summary: Tris is fragile and Tobias is unsure of whether she can cope for much longer. Post Allegiant. Will contain some form of spoilers. Rated M for safety and potential adult themes later on.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is my second fanfic ever so please be nice. I don't really like it but it's the beginning of something that I want to carry on with so here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing despite the changes to the original, Veronica owns everything.**

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**Tris' POV **

I wake with a start.

I'm dripping with sweat and my hair is stuck to my neck; my shoulders; any bare skin above my ribs. Its times like this where I want to cut my hair again, so that when I wake up from the nightmares it isn't stuck to me.

I get out of bed and slink out of my pyjamas and step into the shower. I quickly wash my body, my hair, washing away the last little bit of my nightmares away so that the cold, chilling laugh no longer rings in my ears.

My head is still under the faucet when I hear him open the bathroom door. I used to jump from a deep rooted fear whenever I was naked and he could see, now I'm used to it, he is surprisingly comfortable peeing in front of me; something I can't imagine ever doing in front of anyone and feeling as comfortable as he is. He doesn't pee like I expected him to. Instead he sits on the bathroom counter and watches me as I watch him in the mirror. It isn't admiration or lust or leering that causes him to watch me, but the fear that I may break, that I may crumble, that I may dissolve away with the water and float down the drain.

'I'm okay.' I say

'I know you are.' He replies.

I shut the water off with a sigh step out of the cubicle wrap a towel under my armpits and sigh.

'Liar.' I say as I stand in front of him. He towers over me and I should feel intimidated because the muscle that bulks him up causes him to be twice my width but all I feel leeching from him into me is protection. He doesn't say anything and I didn't expect him to, he just take my face in his hands and kisses my forehead.

I know he thinks I'm going to break but he should have faith in me, I am okay, I believe that I am okay but I don't want to argue with him. I almost deprived him of me once; it's not going to happen again.

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**Tobias' POV **

She realises that I've entered the bathroom straight away and I notice that she still doesn't start whenever I come in and she's showering. Good, I was beginning to think that the increase of nightmares would put her right back where she used to be and that I would have to be extra careful around her. I didn't come to pee like I usually would and I didn't come to stare at her naked body. I came to make sure that she was still whole.

This nightmare tonight seemed the worst. She thrashed more, sweated more and even screamed herself awake though I'm not sure she realised that she did.

I sit on the bathroom counter and wait. She stays under the faucet letting the water run down her hair down her back down the drain.

She's beautiful, I notice. I knew before that she was pretty and radiant on occasions but here I see she's more than that. I'm not leering; the slight curve of her body is something that you can't not see. The radiance of her skin in the moonlight is something that you can't ignore. I'm not leering, I'm noticing. I'm noticing things that I've never been able to see before. Maybe it's the light or the fact that I'm half asleep or maybe it's that she seems comfortable with me seeing her that I can only now really see her.

'I'm okay.' She says. Even her voice sounds different. Her sincerity makes me question why I think she may break but there is a niggling sensation at the back of my mind telling me not to believe her _she's not okay she's not okay she's not okay she's not okay_.

'I know.' she doesn't believe me because she shuts the shower off and gets out, wrapping a towel tightly around her body.

'Liar.' She says. I sigh internally and look at the birds on her collarbone.

_One for each member of the family I left behind_

I remember her telling me and thinking that she was lucky with the family she had, you could even say I was jealous, what with my dead mother and abusive father, how could I not long for her family. Now I can't bring myself to think it.

She's so fragile one touch could shatter her into a million pieces but I cup her face with my hands nonetheless and press my lips to her forehead. _she's not okay she's not okay she's not okay._

I hush the whispers with one thought: she almost left me once, she doesn't have the heart to do it again.

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**A/N Okay I hope that wasn't too bad. I guess it was readable if you're still here to read this. the next few chapters are ready to go so I should be uploading those in the next couple of days.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent**

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**Tobias' POV**

I let her finish up in the bathroom by herself while I make tea in the kitchen. I know she won't make the effort to go back to sleep now, she'll have no inclination to sleep the forty or so minutes until sunrise.

She comes out of the bathroom in an old t-shirt of mine; it makes me smile lightly and I open my arms for her to sit on my lap. She does so willingly and I find myself whispering anything that comes to mind into her ear and brushing her wet hair away from her eyes. She grew it out again after the war – if you could even call it a war. I comb through it with my fingers knowing it calms her. It's nice to feel the tension fall away from her, if only temporarily.

'I was thinking of seeing Caleb today.' She whispered. It doesn't come as much of a surprise to me, she hasn't seen him since the day in the labs and I don't really blame her, she's always been family orientated and it would have been too hard for her.

'I think it's a good idea.' I say as I tuck loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

'I need to say things to him, things he never knew. I can't leave it any longer.' I nod in agreement and wipe the stray tear away from her cheek.

**Tris' POV**

I leap off the train when I get to what used to be Amity farms, now just farms that anyone can use, and walk the two kilometres that will get me to Caleb.

I don't have any control over my mouth, as soon as I see him words just start spurting out.

'I'm sorry it's been this long. I never meant to not see you for a year, I just... I couldn't bring myself to be here. There are too many memories.' The last part comes out as a whisper as I look around, seeing the familiar landscape that I call _outside of the fence_. 'Too many ghosts.'

I'm silent, pulling myself together again, trying to hold back the tears, trying to swallow the sob that's rising in my throat. I can't. I sink to the ground in front of him and sob so loud and so hard that I'm afraid of dying or suffocating from it.

'I'm... so... sorry.' I choke out once more.

R.I.P Caleb Prior

2310-2328

_He will always be loved _

I clear the weeds away from the small stone that we placed on the ground where we buried him. My tears make the dry earth darken in colour as I tell him that it should have been me.

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**A/N I am really sorry this is short and pretty badly written but I'm struggling to get the beginning going and finding a path to go down. Please stick by this story and I promise it will get better.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing!**

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**Tobias' POV**

My knee jerks up and down nervously waiting for her to return. I didn't offer to go with her because she needed to do it by herself; she needed the time to properly mourn her brother now that she is strong enough to cope with the pain that will resurface. At least I hope she's strong enough.

The last Prior. I hope she doesn't slip away from me.

**Tris' POV**

I take a shaky breath trying to gather myself together again.

I'll count to five and when I'm done I'll stand up and walk away. I've said what I needed to say.

_One._

I have no family left.

_Two._

I am the last Prior.

_Three._

I don't deserve it, I should be the dead one, not Caleb.

_Four._

Can I be forgiven for all I have done to get here?

_Five._

I want to. I believe it. I can.

I stand and start the walk back to the train.

**Tobias' POV**

I worry about Tris sometimes. I fear she may fully become the reckless girl I saw creep out of her after her parents' deaths. The girl that thought self sacrifice was the right way to go but it wasn't. Killing herself would not bring them back and she learnt that nearly killing herself in the process, but she knows now. The value of self sacrifice lies in its necessity. Had she died when she almost did I would deem it necessary, she almost sacrificed herself for Caleb but he was too busy learning his own lessons.

Sometimes I don't know why I worry about her because she looks so strong. She holds herself well, when she laughs she laughs like whatever it is is the funniest things in the world and there's a light in her eyes when she does this.

But sometimes she'll be talking to Chris and they'll mention Will, for a fraction of a second I see something die in her eyes and maybe it's him but I reckon it's her soul dying instead of him. Or she'll be talking to Uriah and Marlene's name will come into the conversation and I almost see Tris jump off of the Dauntless building after Marlene.

When she said Caleb's name earlier I saw the light leave her eyes. I saw the death serum leech into them and steal her fire, that fire that burns so bright. I saw her take his place just for a second. Then I felt him die all over again as grief began to flow through her body at the thought of seeing his grave for the first time since we buried him.

_shesnotokayshesnotokayshesnotokay_

I shouldn't worry.

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**A/N Thank you for the review DivergentObsessed46, I am going to try and update as frequently as possible! I hope this chapter is okay, it seems a bit like a filler chapter and is quite short but I promise that the next few will be bigger and better!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything!** **:)**

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**Tris' POV**

I enter our apartment and am welcomed by the sound of clattering pans and the whir of the oven beginning to heat up.

I laugh to myself as imagine Tobias getting a severe craving for cake and having to find all of the ingredients so that he can bake some; then realising that he can't bake at all.

I walk into the kitchen cautiously, hoping there isn't too much mess because I'll be the one having to clean it later.

It's not despicable – it certainly isn't clean but it is definitely manageable.

'Hey,' I say, laughing until my stomach hurts when he turns around and I see chocolate cake batter smeared over his face and flour in his hair. 'What happened to you?' I ask still laughing slightly.

'I had a small problem with the mixer.' He says sheepishly.

I smirk, licking the batter from his face, and then regretting it.

'That tastes so bad! What did you do?' it's very hard not to throw up or at the very least wash my mouth out thoroughly but I can't bear to kick a guy when he is down.

'I may have used salt accidently, not sugar.'

I laugh harder but it makes me feel a little guilty so I hop up onto the counter and start firing instructions at him on how to make a cake.

'I should have just waited for you to come home so you could do it.' he says as he vigorously mixes the new batter.

'Lazy!' I say in mock horror.

'I am not!' to which I reply that he is. 'You'd still do it.'

I raise my eyebrows at him. 'What would make you say that?'

'You love me and therefore would bake cake for me.'

'No chance!' I reply.

His response is mute; it just involves his smearing cake batter on my face. I admit I'm a little shocked, we've never really done anything like this before, we've never been the 'silly' couple who giggle with each other and act all cutesy. I like it; so I grab a handful of flour and blow it all over him. A white cloud fills the room and I can barely see him reach for more batter until it's close to my face. I reach up to block him and the batter splatters over the both of us.

A war breaks out between us.

We finish with no cake batter left in the bowl that is now sitting on the floor beside us, with the flour bag empty and a floor that is covered, like the two of us, in cake batter and flour.

We're a mess, the both of us in stitches. A sticky, gooey mess that I realise has resulted from our first attempt at typical flirting.

I smile at Tobias and he reciprocates before licking the batter from my face, his smile turning into a grin.

'Better?' I ask.

'Much.' He says, continuing to lick the batter from my cheek, my neck, my collarbones to which I sigh contently.

**Tobias' POV**

The small moan that escapes Tris' mouth as I lick her collarbones is enough to have me suppressing a moan myself. It ignites something deep inside me and spurs me on, causing me against my better judgement to run my hands under her shirt to trace the lines of her back.

Surprisingly she doesn't resist. 'I need to shower,' she states.

I stop. 'Okay, I'll clean up in here and then I can have one.'

She bites her lip. 'I was thinking you could join me?'

Well that was not what I expected her to say. I don't waste time - I scoop her up from the floor and take us to the bathroom shutting the door behind us.

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**A/N Here is some Fourtris fluff for you all, I do somehow thing this reads a little awkwardly though so tomorrow I'm going to re-read it and hopefully smooth out the kinks but for now I bid you goodnight and hope that you find it in your hearts to leave some reviews for me because reviews mean happiness :)  
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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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_*One Year Later*_

**Tris' POV**

I wake with a start.

My hair sticks to my whole body – at least it feels like it. I haven't had it cut since I did it myself in Amity all those years ago. I should get it cut soon.

I look to my left and find Tobias still sleeping silently. He never makes a sound. He never moves. Like he has never shaken the happen of going to sleep scared stiff of his father.

I slip out of bed and retrieve a shirt from the floor, I think it's his but most things I wear to bed these days are so either way it doesn't matter. I go into the bathroom and wash my face. I tie my hair up so it no longer sticks to my skin. I wonder why I woke up so suddenly, I feel sure I didn't have a nightmare. Strands of hair still stick to my skin and they begin to irritate me. I take my hair down so I can re-do it with all of the loose strands included but I see a pair of scissors next to the wash basin.

I part my hair down the middle, smoothing it down so that it lies flat against my cheek, this suddenly feeling so familiar. This time I have more function in my shoulder and the aid of a mirror so it looks less ragged then it did before. I also leave it a little longer than last time. Instead of stopping at my jaw it hangs below, just teasing my shoulders. I put the scissors back.

I notice the ring of blond around my feet and remember the haircut I used to get from my mother every third month. When I was Abnegation. When there were factions. When my mother was alive.

I go back to bed after I clear up the hair. I don't want to keep it there longer than it needs to be there for, it brings back too many vivid memories of my mother.

Tobias is still sleeping as I crawl in next to him.

I'm just falling asleep when I'm jolted awake again.

This is what woke me last time.

Gunshots.

They're getting closer.

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**A/N This is horrible of me, I know. The chapter is shit, short and shitter. I have an excuse (I need to re-write all of my coursework by next week so I'm freaking out) but I still should've written something more/better/of worth. I'm hoping to get two more chapters up by Monday if I have the time but there will definitely be one over the weekend! Please review, it motivates me so much and it helps me write, I take criticism too (just don't be a lil bitch about it ;) )**


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